Soaring Hearts: Paul and Cassian on Vainglory
But sometimes it creates a wish to take holy orders, and a desire for the priesthood or diaconate. And it represents that if a man has even against his will received this office, he will fulfill it with such sanctity and strictness that he will be able to set an example of saintliness even to other priests; and that he will win over many people, not only by his manner of life, but also by his teaching and preaching. It makes a man, even when alone and sitting in his cell, to go round in mind and imagination to the dwellings and monasteries of others, and to make many conversions under the inducements of imaginary exultation.
[Quotes are from John Cassian’s “The Twelve Books on the Institutes of the Coenobia and the Remedies for the Eight Principle Faults”]
It was two days before my ordination to the priesthood. I was sitting in one of the meetings at our Synod, thinking back to my diaconate ordination. What did I feel and think then? It was a crushing weight on my back. My head, at that ordination, could barely hold the bishop's hands.
Surely now that I faced the priesthood - an even deeper trench of service - I would barely be able to stand or kneel before the bishop.
But that is not at all what I felt.
On the contrary - I felt light as a feather. And the thought that came to my mind haunts me to this day:
"I’m going to be good at this."
The thought that crushed me with anxiety a year ago brought more comfort to my soul than this current thought that might have been confused for confidence.
Praise be to God that I had a couple days to talk with some fellow clergymen. I needed to let this thought out.
One fellow minister and friend pointed me to a church father named John Cassian - particularly his writing on vainglory. I read the quote above and knew instantly what I was dealing with in my heart.
κενοδοξία
In the 5th century, Cassian wrote a book for monasteries. His work deals with various practices in the daily life of a monk, but he devotes most of his time to the primary sins that a monk faces while in service to God.
These are principle vices in a pastor's life as well. And perhaps the most dangerous of them is the last one that Cassian touches: κενοδοξία (kenodoxia).
This word is only found in Philippians 2:3, while its root, κενόδοξος, is found in Galatians 5:26. It is derived from two words: κενός, which means "empty," or "vain," and δόξα, which means "glory," "honor," "praise." The ESV translates κενοδοξία as “conceit.”
But what is conceit, or as Cassian calls it, vainglory?
Philippians 2
In Philippians 2:3, Paul writes: "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves," (italics added). Paul then goes on to explain what that looks like, and he does so by showing us Jesus Christ. He is the counterexample to conceit. So we can define conceit or vainglory as the opposite of what Jesus did. So what did he do?
Jesus did not count "equality with God a thing to be grasped," (Phil. 2:6). Rather, he emptied himself and took on the form of a servant (Phil. 2:7).
We, on the other hand, do count equality with God a thing to be grasped. In fact, our first parents quite literally believed that when Adam and Eve reached for the fruit on the tree God forbade them to take. They did so because they wanted to be like God.
Cassian uses the example of King Hezekiah, and how at the end of his life he succumbed to vainglory, and it almost unraveled all the good he accomplished in his lifetime. I don't care too much for the ESV's translation of 2 Chronicles 32:25, which says that Hezekiah's "heart was proud." The Hebrew word that the ESV translates as "proud" is much more visual. A better translation would be, "his heart soared," or "was lifted up."
Vainglory is soaring over God. It is looking to yourself, praising yourself, seeking for people to perceive something about you that should be perceived about God.
What is so incredibly vain about this is that you cannot even begin to be worthy of the praise that is due God. You are the dust of the ground. Would you praise a dog for painting the Sistine Chapel? Well, that would be less insane than seeking God's glory for yourself.
And yet we all seek this praise and glory for ourselves.
There is no person in this world unaffected by vainglory.
And there are three specific characteristics of vainglory which make it particularly nasty.
Mutability
Vainglory is different from every other sin, because it can change forms depending on the circumstance. It is not like lust which attacks a person in a fairly straightforward fashion: are you going to act on this or not? If you resist the temptation to lust, then it goes away (though to come back another time).
Vainglory is different. If it doesn't get you in the temptation to sin, it'll seek to bring you down in your resistance to sin.
For the attack of all other vices is more open and straightforward, and in the case of each of them, when he who stirs them up is met by a determined refusal, he will go away the weaker for it, and the adversary who has been beaten will on the next occasion attack his victim with less vigor. But [vainglory] when it has attacked the mind by means of carnal pride, and has been repulsed by the shield of reply, again, like some wickedness that takes many shapes, changes its former guise and character, and under the appearance of the virtues tries to strike down and destroy its conqueror.
Let's say you are tempted to lust. Vainglory is right there beside you telling you that you deserve to give into the temptation. You've been working really hard, life has been a trial lately. You deserve to do what you want to do. Nevermind what God says you should do.
But what if you don't budge? What if you stand firm and resist the devil? He will flee from you (James 4:7), praise God! And you may give praise to God, but then, perhaps, there’s a little voice that creeps up within you: "I did pretty good, actually." Vainglory has not fled.
This means vainglory is especially dangerous for clergy.
When you put on your collar, when you open your bible to teach, when you ascend the pulpit to preach (all very good things) vainglory clings to you whispering, "Acknowledge yourself. Your doing great!"
But, beware! if you think, "Well, I'll just not wear a collar then. I'll try to look very lowly. I won't have a pulpit - I'll preach on the level of the people. I’ll do more work with the homeless than with the rich.” If you think that if you live a more simple life and ministry then vainglory won't be as much of a problem, think again.
For where the devil cannot create vainglory in a man by means of his well-fitting and neat dress, he tries to introduce it by means of a dirty, cheap, and uncared-for style. If he cannot drag a man down by honor, he overthrows him by humility. If he cannot make him puffed up by the grace of knowledge and eloquence, he pulls him down by the weight of silence. If a man fasts openly, he is attacked by the pride of vanity. If he conceals it for the sake of despising the glory of it, he is assailed by the same sin of pride. In order that he may not be defiled by the stains of vainglory he avoids making long prayers in the sight of the brethren; and yet because he offers them secretly and has no one who is conscious of it, he does not escape the pride of vanity.
We can't get rid of vainglory. There is hope for the Christian, but until we are with Christ, whether we are high-church or low-church, wear a collar or t-shirt, we must be vigilant guardians against the soaring of our hearts.
2. Subtlety
Vainglory is quiet. It does not attack you like the temptation to lust or lie. In fact, sometimes you do not even realize that it has taken hold. It whispers. It disguises itself. Herein lies how it destroys people.
…other passions which are entirely different from the virtues which are their opposites, and which attack us openly and as it were in broad daylight, are more easily overcome and guarded against: but this being interwoven with our virtues and entangled in the battle, fighting as it were under cover of the darkness of night, deceives the more dangerously those who are off their guard and not on the lookout.
Back to my ordination - I could have easily chalked up what I was feeling to confidence. After all, anyone stepping forward for ordination must have a level of confidence that God will equip him to accomplish the task ahead of him.
But his confidence must be in God, not himself.
I cannot do anything. Jesus says, "apart from me you can do nothing," (John 15:5). And yet, with Jesus working in me, I can do things. He deserves all the credit, not me. He uses completely broken vessels to do his work. Yet he does accomplish his work.
The kicker here is that I'm the broken vessel. Jesus is the one who deserves all the praise for the work that is done. All my confidence cannot be in me, but in Christ.
Confidence in my ability to do something is not always vainglory. However, when it comes to ministry, rarely is it confidence that says, "I can do this," but the subtle voice of vainglory.
If we ministers are not aware of just how subtle vainglory is and how quietly it stalks us from behind, then it will easily pounce upon us and devour us.
"... sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it," (Gen. 4:7, ESV).
3. Pervasiveness
We've seen just how much vainglory affects every area of our lives - our vices and our virtues (when we do not give glory to Christ). Here's another sobering paragraph from Cassian:
[vainglory] assails the man who stands up against it from every quarter, and assaults its conqueror on all sides. For it tries to injure the soldier of Christ in his dress, in his manner, his walk, his voice, his work, his vigils, his fasts, his prayers, when he withdraws, when he reads, in his knowledge, his silence, his obedience, his humility, his patience; and like some most dangerous rock hidden by surging waves, it causes an unforeseen and miserable shipwreck to those who are sailing with a fair breeze, while they are not on the lookout for it or guarding against it.
Why is this so? Why does this sin affect us in every way?
Jesus answers this for us in Mark 7:21-23:
"For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person."
Jesus is saying here that our primary problem is not our individual sins - our actual acting out in sin. Those are big problems. But the problem underlying all of our sins is us. We are the problem. We sin because our hearts - we ourselves - are sinful.
But it's not enough to say that we sin because we are sinners. That is true, but what about us is so sinful? What is the foundational sin that leads to all other sins?
I think the answer to that might be back in 2 Philippians.
Jesus and his emptying of himself is directly contrasted with what we are known for: "selfish ambition," "conceit," and thinking of ourselves as more significant than others.
Think back to what conceit / vainglory is - soaring or lifting ourselves up over God. In other words, it is making yourself God. Whether it be in choosing not to obey God's law, or in obeying His law and then thinking you should get a little credit for that. The prime sin we inherited from Adam is grasping for divinity, seeking to be our own gods.
This is seen in very dramatic fashion as in Acts 12:20-23 when Herod the king receives praise as if he is a god. But it's also seen when you are all alone and you just resisted Satan and now think, "Man, I'm getting pretty good at saying 'No' to sin." Be careful. You may not be eaten by worms like Herod was, but God just might remove some strength from you so that you will learn, “Oh, without God’s help I cannot say ‘No’ to sin.”
"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble," (Jas. 4:6).
Is there any hope?
So what's the remedy to vainglory? If it can change forms, is hard to detect, and is ingrained into my sinful nature, am I doomed to always struggle against it?
Well, to an extent, yes. On this side of eternity there will be no complete eradication of vainglory. You will, until the time of your death, have to stay on guard against this all-consuming vice.
And Cassian gives this as practical advice on fighting against vainglory:
To begin with we should not allow ourselves to do anything at the suggestion of vanity, and for the sake of obtaining vainglory. Next, when we have begun a thing well, we should endeavour to maintain it with just the same care, for fear lest afterwards the malady of vainglory should creep in and make void all the fruits of our labours. And anything which is of very little use or value in the common life of the brethren, we should avoid as leading to boasting; and whatever would render us remarkable amongst the others, and for which credit would be gained among men, as if we were the only people who could do it, this should be shunned by us.
Now, there are some helpful tips in that paragraph, especially the one about not doing something if you think you are the only person in the world who can do it. Have you ever thought that about your job? I know I have.
However, I must say that overall Cassian leaves me wanting more here.
Must we forever grit our teeth, constantly afraid that vainglory will strike? Surely we must be on guard against sin and resist it when it comes. But as ministers of the gospel, perhaps we should remember the very good news that we preach to others.
That gospel is this: that Jesus Christ emptied himself and became the form of a servant. Jesus Christ did nothing from selfish ambition or conceit. Jesus Christ counted others as more significant than himself. He was obedient to God to the point of his death on the cross where he took on our sinful nature. On the cross Jesus was condemned, not just for our sins of lust, anger, covetousness, greed, dishonesty, etc. Jesus, on the cross, became sin for us (2 Cor. 5:21) - our vainglory, was transferred to him.
Now, through faith in Jesus, we are made new. We are given the mind of Christ, that is the mindset that puts others before ourselves and does not seek praise or glory. But that does not mean that we access this mindset by our own strength. We cannot do that, we are still in the sinful flesh. Paul knows this, so after saying that we have a new mindset Paul focuses our minds on Christ himself.
So, when you find yourself caught in the trap of vainglory, do not freak out and try really hard to free yourself. Vainglory is like quicksand, the more you squirm and say, "Woe is me! I need to change!" the more you sink into despair. You cannot win the fight against vainglory.
Instead, confess your sin and rest in the grace of Jesus Christ. Look to him who has forgiven you of all your sin - especially this ever-present sin of vainglory. And then continue on with your day.
